THRIVING VS. SURVIVING THIS CHRISTMAS
This time of year can feel stressful, fast-paced, overwhelming, and overloaded. Especially when so many of us have gone from 0-100 on the social scale post lockdown life of 2020.
Our usual way of operating can see our Christmas calendars full to the brim, running from one place to the next, battling the crowds in the shopping centres, and trying our best not to breaking a sweat in the kitchen as we attempt to feed many mouths.
For others, this can be an extremely challenging time of year for a very different reason as loneliness kicks in, or the gap feels large from those we are missing still abroad, or those who have passed recently or in years gone by.
Regardless of our experience, it can really feel like all we’re doing is racing ourselves to the finish line, often feeling as we head into January like we’ve missed the whole damn thing. Or find ourselves more exhausted, or disconnected than ever.
With this in mind, I’ve pulled together a very different holiday checklist this year. A list of ten tools or micro-practices that you can take with you into your life over the next few weeks. It might be good to check in with these at the beginning and end of your day, maybe at lunch as a little halfway mark to say “ok I need a little more of this, or a little less of that today...”
All designed as a tried and tested recipe to help you to thrive rather than survive this Christmas.
PRACTICE ONE: AND BREATHE…
If you notice you are getting stressed, overwhelmed, or panicked at any point over the next few weeks remember to take a deep breath. The breath is such an incredible tool to support us when we are challenged, but we so often forget it’s there. Just by stopping and taking one deep breath we can send a signal to the body to say “hey, we’re ok”, and we can start to feel better - so remember to use it. You might even stop and take a deep breath now, and just notice how it feels.
As a great teacher of mine always says “as long as we are breathing there is far more right with us, than wrong with us.” A great little reminder to help put things in perspective I feel regardless of how difficult the situation we find ourselves in.
PRACTICE TWO: LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
How often do we berate our bodies, criticise them for all they are not, or all they don’t do vs. show them some love for the incredible job they do at keep us alive and functioning at such high levels all throughout the rest of the year? How often do we actually listen to the little niggles they signal to us to say we maybe need to slow down, take some rest, eat better or sleep more.
We can so often take them for granted until the moment there is something wrong. They also tell us lots of important information, when we can remember to listen, So your challenge is to listen over the next few days - what is yours telling you? How do you support it?
As you go about your day, take the time to stop and appreciate this incredible vessel that carries you through life. It’s really doing a far greater job than we might give it credit for.
PRACTICE THREE: NOTICE YOUR STRESS
How we perceive things in our life plays a pretty big part in how we react or respond to them, and so, one of the best practices we can do is start to get a little more discerning and curious around or stress and in particular, our stressors.
As the Christmas build-up approaches, your challenge is to notice when you are getting stressed or reactive, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, will this matter in 5 days or 5 years? If the answer is no, it may not be worth spending more than 5 minutes on it. So can we maybe just set it down, for now, we can always come back to it if we need.
PRACTICE FOUR: CONNECT WITH A STRANGER
While it has been so great to have access to technology like Zoom and Facetime to stay connected with friends and family, what you may have felt after the novelty wore off, is it doesn’t fully meet the need for social interaction that human beings need to thrive. Real human connection is incredible for our health and wellbeing as social creatures.
The challenge here is to smile or make eye contact with all the people you meet in the coming days, have conversations with your barista, or the person who serves you at the supermarket, or say hello to the person you pass on the street and notice how it feels to do so.
PRACTICE FIVE: RECONNECT WITH SOMEONE
Connection can also feel incredibly fulfilling and meaningful when it’s with someone you may have not seen or heard from in quite a while. Who might that be for you? Reach out and send a message, give a call, or send a text. Tell them you miss them and what you miss about them, what they mean to you.
Notice what it feels like to reach out to someone without any specific purpose, or even a need for a response or to receive anything in return other than just to connect. Just because it feels so good to connect and also to show some kindness. To do or say something nice to someone else can make a moment in a day beautiful, a moment that otherwise, we may just rush past, as we do for so many others.
PRACTICE SIX: FEEL IT
During this time, emotions can run high and feel supercharged. Here the challenge is to see can you allow whatever is there to just be there. Whether you’re exhausted, frustrated, worried, sad, homesick, whatever it is that's there, let it be there. Let it be.
What would it feel like to try to fully accept all parts of you? Nothing to be added, nothing taken away? Every time you notice you are hard on yourself, or you’re finding it difficult, can you tell yourself “I am here, I am home, I am ok.”
PRACTICE SEVEN: LET YOURSELF REST
When the calendars are loaded, the kids are on holidays and the expectations are high to go, go, go, it’s more important than ever that you give yourself permission to slow down and rest.
Put your out of office on, delete the apps you don’t need, turn off your notifications, or even your phone, have a device-free day or weekend. Read a book, lie on the couch, sleep in, do nothing.
It might feel so very foreign, to begin with, but in starting to think about how you might let yourself rest after what has been a super challenging year - it may just be the very best gift you can give yourself and those around you.
PRACTICE EIGHT: TRUST TRUST TRUST
We can so often fight against all that’s happening vs. allowing ourselves to go with the flow. Pushing for things to be done yesterday vs. letting them unfold how they should. Or “should-ing” all over ourselves vs. doing what we’re being called to do that maybe lights us up.
As the Christmas period goes on, can you allow yourself to let go, let your hair down a little... to get outside, to sing, to dance, to play, to act ridiculously, to pay it forward, to do something out of your comfort zone?
Then notice how good it feels, safe in trusting that it's exactly the right thing for that moment.
PRACTICE NINE: FIND THAT LOVIN’ FEELING
Tell those you love that you love them. As it says in my favourite Christmas movie “Love Actually” - if you can’t tell someone at Christmas, when can you? Life is very short. As I think we’ve all learned this year.
Yes, they may already know that you do love them, but hearing you’re loved never gets old. Never.
PRACTICE TEN: SEIZE THE DAY
That hobby you’ve always wanted to give a go, do it. The thing you’ve always wanted to try, or cook, or make, or do. Do it. Go adventure somewhere new, have the hard conversations. Life is too short not too.
If this year has taught us anything it’s that we are resilient creatures, we can adapt, change, and shift at any moment and still be ok.
Maybe it’s getting up for a sunrise swim at The Sunrise Collective, maybe it’s meditating at the St. Kilda Botanical Gardens, maybe it’s learning to meditate or maybe it’s a million other endless possibilities that all make for a more purpose-driven, more inspired life. Take that step and seize the day, you will never regret it. That I am sure of.
P.s. if any of those last options are calling to you, you can sign up below :)
Wishing you all wonderful, safe, and healthy holidays and New Year.
