LETTING GO OF 2020

2020. What a year. One we definitely won’t forget in a hurry. A global pandemic with lockdowns, mass unemployment, businesses closing their doors, bushfires, homeschooling, protesters, and many losses.

Some are rushing through the last days of this year racing to the finish line, where others I know have made life-changing decisions for the better and are fearful old ways of living and habits will resume once we find a little more “normality”. For me, there is no doubt about it, this year has taught me a lot. Although it’s been a challenge in many ways, it has felt like that great reset for many, to slow down the pace of life, to let the earth recover from how we’ve perhaps not treated it so well, and to come back to what really matters.

As we get to the end of any year, but especially 2020, we can get very caught up in all we didn’t do, all we wanted to achieve but didn’t, all we wanted to see, to travel to, disappointed at how we wanted to grow but didn’t.

We can also get really wrapped up in setting goals and intentions for the year to come, but forget that to get really clear on where we want to go, we have to process, sit with, understand, and contemplate where we’ve been. So it’s really important to reflect on all you did do, how far you’ve come, how much you have grown, and in what areas of your life - especially to be able to close one chapter on the year that was 2020 to move into what’s next for 2021. So I’ve pulled together a short practice below to help you do just that.

SETTING YOURSELF UP TO REFLECT

I suggest if you can, turn off your devices, cancel any plans, and give yourself this time and space to fully reflect and process. Set yourself up in a space you’re not likely to be disturbed and take a pen, paper, and glass of water/cup of tea. You may also like to write on a piece of paper vs. a notebook as sometimes it’s really powerful to burn the page once you’re finished. After you finish you may also give yourself an opportunity to share and speak about it to someone, as a beautiful final piece of being able to let something go and be in a position to move forward.

So once you’ve found yourself with some time and space to do so, let’s begin.

THE PRACTICE

STEP 1

Find your way into a comfortable seat, close your eyes, or divert your gaze. Take a few slow deep breaths to help you arrive in your body. Check in to how things are for you right now, at this moment in time. This time of year, as we continue getting close to the end of 2020. Acknowledge what life is like for you right now, who is present. What’s your experience of being a human being right now. Giving yourself some space. What’s true?

STEP 2

Bring your attention and awareness to this year as a whole. Without getting too heady about it, what’s your felt experience about this year? Remain connected to yourself breathing, but also experiencing your overall feeling of 2020. If you had to sum up the whole year in a feeling what would it feel like? Maybe something you can touch or feel a little bit? Notice what comes up, your physical response? Do you shudder, is there aversion, or embracing - are you leaning forward or edging away? Notice experience of anything that’s shifting - without judgment. No such thing as good or bad, no way you have to be. Just you sitting with your experience and listening to how it has been for you. What feels true for you right now. Having lived through this entire year, what is the feeling of 2020? 

STEP 3

With your eyes still closed and connecting to this feeling, can you now perhaps sum up your 2020 in one word? This could be growth, transformation, change - maybe something which has shifted? Connection, resistance, struggle, pain… See what’s true for you. If you had a lot of loss… it may be low and heavy. Confusion, fear - these have also been a big theme for so many of us. Maybe it’s been life-changing and positive? You don’t have to label but just notice. Maybe it’s even different to what you thought it may be. 

Give yourself a moment to sit with your word. Notice what it’s feeling like in your body. Give it some space. Knowing that there’s nothing you need to fix about 2020, nothing that needs to get done, just feeling into it here. Take a few breaths right here the way you are with your word. 

STEP 4

With your eyes still closed, take yourself right back to the first day of 2020 - noticing where you were, who was with you, how you felt. Now from that moment, imagining a visual timeline, move yourself through…

January, February… like you’re viewing a photo album or home movie…

March, April… taking in all the highs, and all the lows…

May June… remembering what you achieved, what you’re proud of yourself for…

July, August… what you overcame, what you learnt…

September October, the moments that changed you…

November December how you’ve grown…

Using your pen and paper, write down what the milestones are that will help you define how 2020 was? Take a moment now to linger on each month and see what was significant, or what came your way that’s worth noting.

STEP 5

Reflect now on what your most noteworthy moment of the year was. An experience you had, a life-changing thing that came your way? An epiphany or aha moment? 

What was that thing that when you look at the year was really big? That left a big wave or made a big change. What did you learn about yourself? What hurt? What was painful or did you struggle with? What felt great? What are you proud of yourself for?

Taking your pen and paper now begin to write.

STEP 6

Imagine now your year as a sentence - putting pen to paper, start to write the following “in 2020 I….” and see what comes your way…

STEP 7

For one final time, put pen back to paper and start with the sentence “As I move into 2021 I am ready to let go of…”

Take a few minutes to reflect on what’s come up for you this practice. What have you learnt about your experience? What surprised you? You may choose to release your paper in your own way by burning the page, or letting it float away in the sea or in a river, or perhaps you’d like to hold onto it and come back to it this time next year, making this into a new yearly ritual for yourself.

Regardless of what shows up for me each year when I do this practice, I always return back to the following quote, which gives me an incredible sense of perspective at the time in the year when I need it the most. Maybe it may be helpful for you too…

“ A gentle reminder that you did well this year.

You met new people, learned new things and felt new feelings.

You did so many things that made you scared.

You picked yourself up off the floor after feeling completely defeated or heartbroken.

There were some really tough nights but you survived them all.

You made people happy just by existing.

You accepted many goodbyes but the serendipitous meetings made up for them.

It was your own hard work that paid off but you always downplay it or compare yourself to others.

That’s not fair on yourself.

You’ve come so far from the first day of this year.

You have more wisdom and strength now.

Yes, other people seem more “successful” but does that even matter?

Please don’t think so lowly of yourself to only think about your failures.

2020 was your year of growth.

I hope you take a moment to be kind to yourself, and believe that 2021 will be even better.”

Wishing you all wonderful, safe, and healthy holidays and New Year.